"Gypsy, you work on the Pulse Cannon while I screw Crow's spare arm on. Servo, you make me up a batch of waffles with extra syrup." said Joel, tinkering with the gold robot.
"Waffles?" Servo shook his useless small black arms in disbelief. "Why is THAT a priority?"
"Because if Forrester and Erhardt want me to stay awake all through their little experiment, even if it ends at 4:00 in the morning, I'll need some extra energy to do it, that's why! Now get cooking!"
Servo left for the Satellite galley.
"We're out of PVC tubing, Joel." came Gypsy's voice from the cargo bay. "I can't finish the pulse cannon without it."
"Well, let's call up the Mads and see if they have any." responded Joel. He pushed the communications link button, but ignored the grape that came out this time as Servo returned with a plate full of steaming hot waffles. "Mmmmn...Come in, sirs."
"WHAT?!!" Forrester looked even more frazzled than usual, and that was saying something. "I have no time to chat right now, Will Robinson; Larry is GONE! Poof! Disappeared! The Luggage Loser ate him and I have no idea at all where it teleported him to! I was right in the middle of trying to track down his current location and reverse the machine when you called."
"Didn't the machine already have a reverse button?" inquired Crow, flexing his new arm experimentally.
"Of COURSE not, you infinitesimal idiot!" raved Forrester, typing frantically at an old Commodore 64 computer keyboard. "Why would we want to make it easy for people to get their proper luggage back? We're evil. EVIL!!"
"Well, I'd say your evil intentions have turned back upon you, sir," said Joel in a tone that was all the more sarcastic for its very respectfulness.
"Shut up, shut up, shut UP!" Forrester clicked the signal off from his end.
"Joel, estimate impact with the lead asteroids within 45 minutes at the most!"
They all looked at each other.
"So, guess we're all gonna die, then.", said Crow, in a flat tone of voice.
"Yep." said Tom, equally flat.
"Oh, look, it's Movie Sign," said Joel, slumped on the floor. "Whaddya know..."
(Season 1 door sequence)
Sally snuck through the recently ravaged section of Robotropolis.
TOM: Geez, Sally, what did you DO to this city? It's a pigsty!
JOEL: Clean up your city, young woman, or else no dessert for you tonight!
She hid in a small pile of ruined SWATbot.
CROW: Eeewwww, gross, I stepped in a pile of SWATbot!
Rotor hid behind some fire protection foam. Sonic was in a second story window of the crumbling SWATbot factory.
JOEL: And we don't mean he was behind the window; we mean he was quite literally inside the window.
TOM: Ouch. Nasty things, those transporter accidents...
Bunnie hid in a pile of still usable SWATbot parts.
CROW: So, she started using them.
Jonathan was hidden in a pile of incinerated garbage.
TOM: So, in other words, he's hiding in a pile of ashes, if it's incinerated.
And Uncle Chuck was acting as maintenance bot to clean up the mess.
JOEL: Oh, SUUUURE, it always falls upon the poor JANITOR to do alll the work that the big important scientists--uh, I mean...Freedom Fighters won't deign to do themselves. Uh-huh. Yeah.
CROW: And to think, the entire preceeding paragraph could have been boiled down to just three simple words: "They were hiding."
Finally, Sally gave the signal.
CROW: A lovely birthday present.
Jonathan pressed a button on Chris,
JOEL: (as Chris) Oooh, press my buttons, Jonathan...
and foam trapped several SWATbots around the area. Rotor, Sally, and Bunnie ran toward the detention center, while Uncle Chuck, Sonic, and Jonathan ran towards the Weapons Development plant.
TOM: (singing, dramatically) This is the song, written for the raid scene,
They're gonna kick, Ro-bot-nik's buuuuttt,
ALL: (same tune) They'll TRY, TO KILL HIM WITH A FORKLIFT,
TOM: Ole!
Sonic ran around the plant, looking for a decent entrance.
CROW: Most of the entrances had no clothes on. Heh heh. "Decent"...get it?...ah, screw it.
TOM: Lotsa running in this section...
JOEL: Chariots of fur...
In the process, he aroused
JOEL: Not one word, Crow.
the attention of a band of SWATbots. They said their classic line:
TOM: tHe MaStEr WiLl NoT bE pLeAsEd.
CROW: Gamera is friend to all children!
JOEL: HAI-KEEBA!
"STOP HEDGEHOG! PRIORITY ONE APPREHEND!"
TOM: (snorting) Oh, I can see how that would be a REAL classic. (giggle) NOT.
"Gimmie a break.
ALL: (singing) Gimme a break! Break me off a piece of that KIT-KAT BAR!
Here we go again." Sonic groaned, running between two SWATbots trying to grab him.
CROW: SAAaaay...where were they trying to grab him, exactly?
TOM: Behind the ruined factory, I believe.
They crashed into each other.
JOEL: (snort) Oh, like nobody saw THAT one coming...
Sonic jumped high into the air, and pulled out a power ring.
TOM: From WHERE? He doesn't wear any clothes!
JOEL: It's just a show, Tom, you should really just relax.
A gigantic flash of light engulfed the sector. Sonic ran in circles,
CROW: Because he was lost...
building speed until he began to spin and hit each SWATbot's midsection.
TOM: Causing them all to toss their RAM-chips.
Jonathan and Uncle Chuck were busy at setting of detonation charges, causing parts of the wall to break
CROW: Down and cry.
with combined fire and fire protection foam.
JOEL: Huh? Anyone at home who understood that, please write us a letter and tell us what was going on. Thanks.
TOM: And be sure to include your favourite pizza topping.
Jonathan pressed a couple of buttons on Chris, and the lasers under testing turned on the stands
CROW: And failed their SAT's.
and pointed at the Robotropolis Command Center.
TOM: Uhh....whoops! Little design flaw there, Robo-butt!
"I wonder how far these things shoot. Okay. Chris! All weapons fire!"
JOEL: (as Chris) Do you mean all the weapons all over the planet, or...
CROW: (as Jonathan) Just fire THESE lasers! Right here! Damn you!
JOEL: (as Chris, in HAL's voice) I'm sorry, I can't do that Jon...
Inside the center, the commander of Robotropolis was looking on a screen seeing laser blasters preparing to hit the tower.
TOM: Ah, so Robotnik has been reading the last few paragraphs along with us, then.
He pressed a button,
CROW: (in Forrester's voice) Push the button, Frank!
(All look at each other.)
JOEL: Who's Frank?
CROW: (confused) I....don't.....know....
and the tower was in a vibrating, shimmering light. When the lasers blasted the tower, there was a feeling like a minor earthquake.
"Snively! Damage report!"
"N-n-n-no real d-d-d-damage s-s-sir."
TOM: Well, we lost power to the refrigerator, and the toilets are backed up in Sector G-17.2. Other than that, everything's fine.
"There is a slight structural crack in the tower, but the repair bots are working on it."
CROW: All that raiding and sneaking and sabotaging for one SLIGHT STRUCTURAL CRACK? Geez, the Freedom Fighters really gotta rethink their priorities...
JOEL: Dang, I forgot my line. Oh, wait, here it is!
"Whew! This is pretty tough!" Tails remarked as his sweat began to drench him.
CROW: Unfortunately, it wasn't his.
JOEL and TOM: EEEEWWWW!
JOEL: Wait a minute...foxes are dogs. Dogs don't sweat!
"Yeah, but not really once you get used to it," J.P. replied.
"You got used to this?" Tails asked, between his panting.
TOM: And shorting, and shirting, and shoe-ing, and...
"'Course! Well, that's about it. In just a little bit we'll be done."
JOEL: Turn us over and bake us for another five minutes, then remove from gym when a toothpick inserted into your Mobian comes out clean.
"How long?"
"Maybe, oh, ten minutes."
"Okay."
CROW: Notice the rivetingly well-written dialogue...
There was a silence for the ten minutes, except for the panting.
TOM: All of which was coming from Tails.
Then J.P. called "And stop!"
JOEL: (singing, falsetto) In the naaaaame of loooove...
"How long have we been doing this?" Tails asked
CROW: Seventeen years. Why? You didn't WANT the rest of your youth, did you...?
"About three hours. You probably want some more water, I'll assume?"
"Oh, yeah."
JOEL: Nothing weird about THIS water, nuh-uh, no-sirree-Bob, just plain ol' water, yep!
J.P. pulled a couple of water bottles out of the refrigerator. That was all that was in there, except for some low calorie food-stuffs.
TOM: Wow, I've heard of sparse bachelor apartments, but this is taking it to the extreme!
CROW: EEEEEXTTRREEEMMMMMEEE--water!
Tails almost inhaled the water,
JOEL: Gah! It went down the wrong pipe! I HATE when that happens!
allowing it to spill on his body and in his very dry mouth. His fur was the more soaked by the water.
CROW: It's a drink AND a shower in one!
TOM: NOW how much would you pay?
"When do you want to do this again?" J.P. asked Tails.
"How about three days?"
"Sure!"
"And do me a little favor, would 'ya?"
"Like what?"
"Keep this place a secret.
TOM: And from the pen of Jeremy Harper comes even MORE stilted dialogue without any description, names, or connecting words attached!
JOEL: You know, these Excitebike tracks are just getting too easy...
The ex-prisoners rode on a large sled-like walled pad,
CROW: So, in other words, it was nothing at all like a sled.
as Sonic pulled them to Knothole. When they reached the stump, they passed it
CROW: (Opens his beak as if to say something, then shuts it again.) Nah, too easy.
in to a secret entrance, which landed them all by Bookshire's clinic. The prisoners that were hurt were brought in the clinic,
TOM: Such as the ones that Bunnie "accidentally" shot with her laser...
and the rest were put in some vacant huts.
JOEL: (as random Mobian) Wait! My hut isn't vacant! You can't just kick me--
CROW: (imitates sound of door slamming)
JOEL: ...out.
It was usually Tails' job to close the secret entrance by flying and pushing the false ceiling to the village into place.
TOM: If it's big enough to cover an entire village, than I'd say Tails is strong enough not to NEED workouts...
When Sally walked out of the hut, and saw the false forest floor still open, she asked Sonic if he knew where Tails was.
"Sorry Sal. I haven't seen him since he went out of the planning hut."
JOEL: (as Sonic) Then, he went over to the Pizza Hut, passed by Jabba the Hut and headed straight for the International Hut of Pancakes!
Sally pulled out Nicole. "Nicole, where is Tails?"
CROW: (as Nicole) BEATS ME. WHY DON'T YOU GET OFF YOUR LAZY BIOLOGICAL BUTT AND LOOK FOR HIM YOURSELF.
"UNKNOWN. HE IS NOT IN KNOTHOLE."
JOEL: And Magic Voice makes a cameo appearance!
Jonathan walked out of Bookshire's clinic. "What about Tails?"
"We don't know where he is." Sally's voice nearly squeaked with worry.
TOM: No, it does that all the time. She IS a rodent, you know.
Just then Tails came into the path, with sweat and water still somewhat soaking his body.
CROW: Along with...other things...
JOEL: Do you want to loose that OTHER arm?
CROW: I meant...uh....uh...GATORADE! Yeah, that's it...
"Where were you?"
TOM: Oh, great, more stilted dialogue. Wake me when it's over, guys. (Snore)
"Just having some fun with a new friend."
CROW: (as Tails) I call him...Satan...
"But where?"
"About half a mile away."
"Okay. But why are you so wet?"
"Got pretty hot."
JOEL: GYYAHH!! I'm beginning to see what Tom means...
"Alright," Sonic said. "We were just wondering, since you didn't close the secret entrance."
"Oh yeah. I'll go do that."
JOEL: It is time to watch the movie.
CROW: Yes I guess it is.
JOEL: Did you bring the popcorn.
CROW: No I forgot it.
JOEL: Oh darn. Now we shall have to do without.
CROW: And the Satellite is being attacked by mutant vampire lemmings from outer space again.
JOEL: That is a bad thing.
He quickly ran and flew the fake floor into place, tails sputtering. Then he landed by the threesome.
CROW: Saaaayyyy...
TOM: (waking up) What? Huh? Oh, I guess the dialogue's over.
"I need some rest."
"Go ahead."
CROW: Guess again.
Tails walked to his hut, and plopped himself down on his bed. He fell asleep a few seconds later.
CROW: Let me take this one, Joel....uh...um....Those lines look positively DASHING!
JOEL: Been done, but the judges have decided to let it slide.
Tails woke up the next morning with a pounding headache. He also fell as if he would throw up. He walked slowly to Bookshire's hut, looking for some pain reliever.
CROW: Unfortunately, they were all out of Fanfic-Be-Gone.
TOM: Heaven forbid he should just look in his OWN medicine cabinet...
When he got to Bookshire's hut, he saw that the red numbers on the clock
JOEL: ...were written in BLOOD! BWAHAHAHA!!
read 5:14. He rummaged through Bookshire's drawer, finding some aspirin, and headed back to his hut. He fell asleep, trying to stop the pain.
TOM: Will Tails ever be able to get rid of his headache? Stay tuned to find out!
JOEL: Migraine is like a line of dashes, churning inside of you...
Later, he started feeling better. The headache became mild, and his nausea had lessened. He looked at his clock, which read 8:45. He got up to have breakfast.
CROW: (flatly) He combed his hair. He put on his shirt. Then he put on his pants. First the right leg, then the left...
As he walked into the Cafe,
TOM: Ouch!
he saw everything was a little blurred, but he blinked it away.
JOEL: Hmmm, maybe Tails IS nearsighted after all...
He ordered an egg sandwich, with scrambled eggs on it.
TOM: Yes, the Department of Redundancy Department is always there, for ALL of your repetitive-language needs!
CROW: Then he ordered an egg sandwich with scrambled carrots on it.
He got up after eating and walked to Sonic's hut, looking for him. He found Sonic, running around trying to work some energy out of his system.
JOEL: Ah, yes. Sonic the Hedgehog--poster child of the Cappucino Generation.
Tails called to Sonic, "Do you know
TOM: The way to San Jose?
where that wolf guy went?"
"You mean Jonathan? He left last night. When we went to meet up with Sally, he told me to go to a garbage pile,
CROW: Uuuhhh....in most cultures, "go to a garbage pile!" would be considered an insult, Sonic...
where he fished out a nice looking jet pack.
JOEL: Oh my god--it really IS Commando Cody!!
When it was time for him to go he just took the pack, set it on its side, stepped on it, and -WHUMP- he flew off like it was a skateboard that could fly. Why?"
TOM: Great, now he's ripping off "Back to the Future"...
JOEL: Aren't jetpacks supposed to be worn on the BACK?
"Just wondering. I hadn't met him yet, and I wanted to know him."
"I guess so."
CROW: He IS the Self-Insert Character, after all, which automatically makes him seem to be the coolest thing in our universe...
Two days later they did another workout. Within the next two days, they did another. This they did for about a month, then Tails wanted to do it every day.
TOM: NO-ONE will be seated during the climactic WORKOUT SCHEDULE DESCRIPTION SCENE!
After a little while, Sonic and Sally were wondering where the two- tailed companion was spending three hours every day, and returning so tired.
CROW: But then they realised that they didn't really care about him enough to ask, so they both went back to their lives of quiet desperation.
Sally and Sonic agreed that Sonic should find out. So when Tails went out of his hut at the time he always did, Sonic was waiting.
JOEL: A shot rang out! A lone hedgehog...
"Where you going?" Sonic asked
CROW: Oh, no, brace yourselves, guys, more dialogue!
"I am going to have some fun with a friend, alright?"
JOEL: (falsetto voice) He is called Trumpy and he can do STUPID--uh, I mean, MAGIC things!
"Hey, hey, don't get so touchy! I was just wondering what it was that made you come out so frequently."
CROW: Yeah, most people generally only have to come out of the closet ONCE...
"Just some workouts at a place near the east side of the Great Forest."
TOM: The Place. Formerly known as The Location, The Area, and, most popularly, "There". As in, "Don't go there!"
"Alright. Well, mind if I come?"
CROW: Actually I do, so mind your own business, you blue-furred FREAK!
"Yeah. DON'T"
CROW: D'OH!
JOEL: The dreaded "riffback!"
"Why not?"
TOM: Guys, I SWEAR to you, if this goes on much longer, my head will explode.
"Just because"
TOM: Ten...
"Some logic. Why do you like it so much?"
CROW: (as Spock) To enjoy a workout so exhausting every single day is not logical.
TOM: Nine...
"It's fun. Besides, J.P. is fun to be with."
JOEL: (singing) Oohhh, it's so NICE to be with you...
TOM: Eight...
"More fun than me?"
CROW: NO-ONE is allowed to be more fun than ME! I'm the STAR, I tell you, the STAR!
TOM: Seven...
"Maybe, maybe not."
TOM: Six...
"So I'll go to see how cool he is?"
TOM: Five...(starts smoking and wobbling funny.)
JOEL: (edging slightly away) You okay there, little buddy?
"Thanks, but no thanks. Like you've told me, 'I can't have a tag-along today,'"
CROW: "Do not remove this tag-a-long under penalty of law."
TOM: Four...
"Oh. I guess I'll see you later, huh?"
TOM: Three...
"Yeah. But don't you dare follow me."
JOEL: (Tails) I'd hate to be forced to have you shot. The stains would never come out of my carpet.
"Whatever."
TOM: Two...
Sonic walked toward Sally, as Tails walked eastward.
TOM: Holding at two...
JOEL: Then Sally walked west, and Bunnie walked north! It's Wacky Direction Day!
"He's gotten touchy. And he goes to the east side of the forest everyday for a workout with someone named J.P."
CROW: EVERYBODY is wondering: "Who Shot J.P.?"
"Hmm. Sound kinda weird."
TOM: ONE...
"Yeah. And he 'doesn't want a tagalong.' So what do we do about it?"
JOEL: Uh...leave him alone and let him live his own life? Just a thought...
TOM: ZERO! Brace for impact!
(POP! Smoke starts pouring out of Servo's bubble dome.)
JOEL: I was afraid this would happen. So I brought these along. (Pulls out a glass of water and a replacement head. He pours the water on the little robot's head to put out the fire, then unscrews the broken one and puts the new one on.) Good as new!
TOM: DAMN! What does a bot have to DO to escape from this fanfic...?
"I don't know yet."
CROW: Hey, Sally doesn't know how to get out of this fanfic, either!
JOEL: Hey, this must be what it's like to look at the world through those No-D glasses the Mads had that one time! (Imitates Erhardt's voice) "I can only see length!" (turns head sideways) "Or width."
TOM: (snorting) I can do that voice WAY better than you, Joel.
This workout procedure went on for some time, til it was near the Christmas celebration.
TOM: (ainging) Deck the halls with boughs of joysticks, fa la la la la, la la la la.
The general populace went to the above ground Knothole for the celebration. They cut down a good, large Christmas tree.
CROW: Although, being an "au natural", outdoors-y type of society, you'd THINK they'd just decorate the tree while it was standing there and let it live, but hey...
Tails didn't go to the workouts for a while, since J.P. had insisted that he spend Christmas with his friends.
JOEL: (shocked) How DARE he suggest such a thing!
TOM: (singing, to the tune of "Jingle Bells") Smashing through the snow, with an avalanche at our backs! Through the trees we go, into the rocks we smack!
The reason Tails was happy still was that J.P. had given him a gift, to open on Christmas. Tails grabbed a string of garland,
JOEL: Judy Garland?
CROW: Beverly Garland?
which he circled the tree with by flying in circles.
JOEL: No, we thought he circled the tree by flying in trapezoids. DUH...
Sally put up some fresh holly on her door,
CROW: Actually, this being an outdoors, nature-y society, as I have mentioned before, she just GREW some holly on her door...
and Sonic ran and cleared snow from the streets.
JOEL: With his bare hands. It took a while...
CROW: Actually, being an outdoorsy society, they really have more like small paths through the trees rather than actual "streets"...
JOEL: That's enough of that, Crow.
Bunnie decorated her house with pictures of the Freedom Fighters, and some pictures of previous holidays.
TOM: Martha Stewart, eat your heart out!
Rotor... well... Rotor was building a "Mistle-toe Detector," to avoid, well...uh... you know.
CROW: What? WHAT? Tell me! I want to know!
JOEL: Uh....to avoid getting shot with a missle in the toe?
TOM: This is starting to sound like something out of Xanth...
This was the Freedom Fighters' favorite time of year, but not so for Robotnik.
JOEL: Him being their nearest equivalent to the Grinch and all...
In this time, the word best describing his mood during this time would be boredom. However he kept himself busy with the duties of being an overlord of Mobius.
TOM: Now, these are the kinds of problems you WANT to have.
Mainly, repairing things freedom fighters had damaged. Snow had dumped through the atmospheric shield, and snow had "gummed up" some equipment.
JOEL: By putting itself on the bottom of Robotnik's theater seats.
CROW: Notice the high level of scientific terminology here...
The main heaters were damaged, so he had to rely on a portable space heater,
TOM: If it can actually heat the vaccuum of space, I, for one, am seriously IMPRESSED!
which was positioned at his feet. He had on a heavy coat on,
and was trying to program his weapons.
CROW: Oh, so is THAT what the kids are calling it these days?
Packbell was using his internal heating device, so he could function normally. He was working on a roboticizer software update. But first, he had to thaw out the computer.
TOM: You know, when people say that their computer "froze up", they usually don't mean it LITERALLY...
JOEL: Sonic's first attempt at skating a figure eight didn't go so well, I see...
After all the hustle and bustle of the Christmas morning
CROW: DO THE HUSTLE! Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do....
(including, for Sonic, turkey in chili on his Chili-dogs),
TOM: AARRRRRGGGGGHHH!! Can't ANYbody ever write about Sonic eating ANYTHING besides fragging !!!! @@@@ #### $$$$$ %%% ^^^^ &&& **** chili dogs!!
JOEL: Wow, I didn't even know there WERE so many swear words...
Tails went into his hut. He ripped open paper on his present from J.P. In the box, there were about 6 of what looked like chocolate candies. There was a note on top. Tails read the note:
CROW: "The FIRST one's free!"
JOEL: "To drink without eating is tiresome, Son of Adam. Would you like some Turkish Delight?"
Tails,
TOM: You are adopted and we never loved you. We really wanted a parakeet. Signed, Mom.
This is a very special candy. Take one, and bite down, hard, on the candy. Inside there is a soft, sweet mixture inside. Go ahead, try it!
JOEL: There's absolutely no possibility at ALL that it could be laced with a dangerously addictive mind-altering drug, nope, nosirree, no way, no how! You can believe ME! Really!
J.P. Anderson
He pulled out a piece. He chomped down hard. As the caramel-like substance coated his tongue, he thought "MORE! I MUST HAVE MORE!"
TOM: Tails has taken the Starburst Plunge!
He did so again, and he saw a beautiful beach, like he was on an island. He slid down a hill, landing in the water, which was warm. He swam for a while in the emerald colored water. Then he let the current sweep him away.
CROW: Oh, that's not a hallucination! He's just playing the "Emerald Coast Zone" on Sonic Adventure.
JOEL: (singing) Sail away, sail away, sail away...
TOM: Joel, may I take this one?
JOEL: If you truly feel it, Tom.
TOM: Oh, but I do. (Ahem) It's the trail of drool that came out of Tails' mouth while he was unconscious!
JOEL: EEEWW! That's the last time I'm letting YOU riff the scene-change...
Sonic walked into Tail's hut.
ALL: OUCH!
CROW: Why don't they LOOK?
He was looking for a teammate for a two on two game of basketball. He called, "Hey, Tails! Come on, let's go play some Basketball!"
JOEL: (singing to the tune of "I Love Rock and Roll") I, LOVE, BASKETBALL! So put another ball in the basket, bay-beh!
When Tails didn't answer, Sonic got a bit worried. "Tails? What's wrong?"
JOEL: What's wrong, girl? You say Timmy's hurt? Fell down a cliff? Over by Dead Rock Canyon?
He didn't respond. Sonic waved his hand in front Tails eyes. Tails blinked. He saw Sonic again, and the rest of the normal things. Though there were some oddities.
TOM: Like talking, bipedal blue hedgehogs with seriously screwed-up body propoprtions and...oh, wait...
"uh...yeah...okay. Well, I guess I could."
"Yeah, Tails. Come on!" said a very relieved Sonic.
When they got out to the basketball court, Tails looked at the ball. He saw a ball of jelly. He asked the obvious question.
CROW: (snooty British accent) Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?
"A ball of jelly? This is a basket ball!"
CROW: Oh, yeah, I was gonna ask that next...
Tails blinked, and saw it morph into a basket ball. "I see. Let's play."
TOM: Whoah, killer special effects, dude!
JOEL: Quite high-budget for one of OUR movies.
Sonic shook his head. "Okay Tails. You and me versus Sally and Bunnie."
JOEL: You and me, goin' round an' round, mano-a-mano!
They took their places on the court. Antoine acted as referee, and threw the ball between them. Not, of course, without falling backwards.
CROW: Of course not. They're all a bunch of total dorks!
(Joel stands up and mimes playing basketball all through this sequence.)
Tails played, and it seemed as though a tree was giving him basketball tips.
TOM: What's wrong with that? I talk to trees all the time!
The basket seemed elongated as though it was touching the ground.
CROW: Probably because it was. When they started making the basket, they had so much fun doing it, they didn't know where to stop.
He had a bad headache. The pain increased until he finally fainted.
TOM: I've got a headache THIS BIG...
"TAILS?!" Sonic shouted. He grabbed Tails and raced to Bookshire's hut. "Gotta go guys! Good Game!" was all the other team heard.
CROW: Or rather, it might have been a good game, had it lasted longer than 32 seconds.
JOEL: Okay, now if I shoot from behind this line, I can get three points, right?...oh, dang, the basketball part's over. (Sits down.)
When he got there, he told Bookshire about Tails. Both ran to Tails' hut. Bookshire pulled out a medical portable computer, and began scan Tails.
TOM: Tails was rather too bulky to fit into the scanner, but Bookshire compensated by first flattening him with a very large rock.
"Well, Book?"
JOEL: Stop calling me that!
"Everything seems normal, but there seems to be something wrong..."
CROW: Could you be a little more VAGUE, please...?
"I could notice that already! WHAT'S wrong?"
"It's like, he's in a trance state."
"Huh?"
"In other words, he's," he paused, "in a coma."
"WHAT! Why?"
TOM: Probably from reading THIS DIALOGUE!
"In pain until his body took over and knocked him out. We may have a problem."
JOEL: Houston, we may have a problem. Although I'm not sure. Wait, it's fixed. No, wait, it's broken again. Maybe...
"Duh. Should I tell Sally?"
CROW: I can't BELIEVE Jeremy Harper actually had one of his own characters realise the very high "duh" factor of this story...
"Okay. Your funeral."
TOM: And possibly Tails', too, if he doesn't get treated by someone more competent, and SOON!
JOEL: Speaking of funerals, we gotta get out of here and figure out how to dodge those asteroids!
(They leave the theater)
