By Captain Chaotica!!
RATING: PG-13 for language and innuendo, but nothing graphic.
PART EIGHT
Cloud, Aeris, Cid, and Reno--still dressed up as Kefka, Terra, Edgar, and Locke, respectively--loitered around the theater lobby and waited for Tifa and Yuffie to come back out of the women's bathroom. Reno liberated some money from the cash register, just to keep in practice. (In practice for WHAT, we don't want to know.)
"All right! Here she is!" giggled Yuffie, and led--or perhaps a more accurate word would be DRAGGED--a very unwilling Tifa Lockhart back into the lobby. Tifa was protesting all the way, "I look RIDICULOUS, Yuffie!" and "When the heck are YOU ever gonna dress up in a stupid costume, huh?" were comments that the others could hear flying rather often. Finally, she stood in front of them.
Her long, flowing dark brown hair had been--very FAKELY--dyed a pale, golden, blonde, with obvious dark roots. Her "outfit" was now a skimpy, midriff-revealing armour-and clothing enemble, with a green halter top, a short orange miniskirt, knee-high white boots, a flowing white cape, and silver armour shoulder-guards. She held a sword in one hand and a bouquet of roses, of all things, in the other.
"All right! What you're about to see here is the way we think that sappy opera SHOULD have gone!" said Yuffie, turning to the others. "Places! The great Celes--erm, I mean, 'Maria', is about to sing!"
(At this point, the maroon-suited Shinra Manager, appearing out of NOWHERE, runs quickly onto the stage to provide some narration.)
"For years, the Moogles and the Chocobos have been at war, trying to figure out, once and for all, exactly who was the MOST annoyingly cutesy creatures with the most annoyingly weird names. Many a feather or round ear has been shed, many a cry of 'Wark!' or 'Kupo!' has been shouted. But this has nothing at all to do with the plotline of our play, which is that the brave knight Draco is running off to leave our heroine, the lady Maria."
(He disappears)
(At this point, Cloud walks onto the stage, temporarily dressed as Draco).
DRACO: I must leave you now, my darling.
MARIA: Oh, no, whatever will I do! There are only a few cute boys among the servants in this castle, and...erm....I mean....uh...Oh, I'm so sad, my darling! Whenever will you come back?
DRACO: I do not know. I may even die in this horrible war!
MARIA: Fine by me--I mean, uh...please be careful and hurry back, my one true love!
(CID walks onto the stage dressed like Prince Ralse)
RALSE: Come with me, my darling, and forget Draco.
MARIA: Okay!
(She runs up a staircase that is there for no real reason and onto a balcony that is also there for no real reason. Dramatically, she leans out over it with her bouquet of flowers. For no real reason.)
MARIA: I won't be needing these any more! When I marry Ralse, he'll get me ALL the flowers I could ever want, because he's RICH! HAHAHAHAHA!!
(She tosses the flowers. Yuffie plays the voice of a random "peasant girl", who gets injured when they fall on her head.)
YUFFIE: OW! Stupid snotty rich women...
(Just then, a VERY fake-looking dragon swoops down out of nowhere and "threatens" Maria.)
RALSE: Do not worry, my darling, I shall rescue you... (looks at dragon)...uh, maybe not. (RALSE bravely runs away.)
The Shinra Manager runs back out. "Oh, no! Draco is still missing and Ralse has run away! Who will get Maria now?"
(Reno as Locke runs out onto the stage)
LOCKE: I will rescue the Lady Maria!
MARIA: (giggling) YOU?! You expect me to run off with a scrawny slacker who's head looks like it's on fire? No, ah don't think so!
RENO: (out of character) I'm gonna go lie down. Seeya.
Just then, in "real life", not the play, a huge WHOOSHING sound was heard and....SEPHIROTH appeared above the stage, floating in mid-air! His skin was indeed very red, as if it had been badly sunburned, and his flowing silver hair flew out behind him. He crashed downwards, horribly embarrassed. Everyone immediately dropped out of character and ran over to see what the heck was going on.
"SEPHY-BABE! You're just in time!" exclaimed Tifa, grabbing the evil warrior-mage by the arm. "We've just gotten to the part in the play where you kidnap me!"
"Kidnap...?" said Sephiroth groggily. "Um...I was just on my way to buy some more lotion for my burns at the Acessory Store...I guess I mis-teleported or something..."
"And then you sweep away with me in your airship!" encouraged Tifa. "Um, I guess that would be the Highwind, for now."
"HEY!" protested Cid. The others shushed him.
"Well, all right," said Sephiroth, putting a painfully red hand around Tifa's wrist, "then in that case, let's--HANG on a minute!"
He stopped, pulled back from her, and looked around at the scene.
"You're not getting out of here THAT easily, Lockhart," he smiled sinisterly, and then cut loose with an evil laugh that made every single one Rufus and Scarlet put together had done lately seem just mildly unprincipled, "BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" He melted silently upwards through the ceiling.
One final message echoed back to them, mockingly: "And by the way, guys--nice costumes."
"Damn." cursed Tifa.
"Good try, though." Yuffie put her arm around the older woman's shoulders.
"The play was fun." said Cloud, who had been glad to get out of his Kefka-outfit, if only for a bit.
"Make fun of my HAIR, will you, you terminally perky little bleached-blonde bimbo..." Reno muttered darkly under his breath.
"I wish I could laugh like that," sighed Rufus wistfully. "But I'm only 2nd grade in Super-Villians' Elementary and Sephiroth's graduated from Evil, Malevolence, and General Unpleasantness High....oh, well..."
The theater doors opened.
"MOVIE SSIIIIIGGGGGNNNNNNN!!" shrieked Aeris and they all piled in.
_________________________________________________
(In the Magitek Research Facility. Party sees Kefka and has to hide behind a box.
CID: (laughing) ALL of them are hiding behind a box?!
YUFFIE: Sabin ALONE wouldn't fit behind it.
AERIS: Maybe they're hiding behind HIM?
CLOUD: Hey, yeah, good idea: "Sabin, you stand out in front. NOTHING could get through that thick skull of yours."
Two unconscious Espers are also there, and a moving
conveyor belt dumping waste into a pit.)
KEFKA: I'm all-powerful! Hee, hee, haw!
TIFA: Kefka turned into a DONKEY?!
RENO: I always SAID that man was a pain in the ass...
I'm collecting Espers!
ALL: ESPERS!
YUFFIE: Gotta catch'em all!
I'm extracting magic! And...and...I'll restore the statues!
(Kefka laughs maniacally.)
AERIS: You know, saying "Kefka laughs maniacally" is like saying, "The sun rose brightly" or "The snow fell coldly"...in other words, TOTALLY REDUNDANT!
(Kefka to one Esper.)
KEFKA: I've drained you of your power! You're useless to me now!
(Kefka throws the Esper on the conveyor and it falls through.)
(Kefka to the other Esper.)
KEFKA: And...you! Take a hike!
CID: (as Kefka) I reccommend the Sundance trail. It's got a very nice view of the river and 15 campsites...
(Kefka throws the other Esper onto the conveyor.)
(Scene ends, and Kefka is gone. Party jumps on the conveyor and drops down the pit. They find the two Espers, and a battle with Ifrit and Shiva begins shortly after.)
TIFA: Oh, yeah, the instant I see people get thrown into a pit, my very FIRST reaction is to jump into it myself...HUH?!
CLOUD: Hey, those names are familiar again...Shiva and Ifrit. HMMMN....
(After Ifrit and Shiva have received enough damage,)
IFRIT: I sense a kindred spirit...
YUFFIE: (as Ifrit) One just as annoying as we are...
SHIVA: Who're you...?
RENO: (deep, dramatic voice) I'm Batman.
IFRIT: You have Ramuh's power...?
CLOUD: No, actually, we just have Ramuh's power BILL. He kept forgetting to pay the electricity, and now he owes something like 500 dollars...
SHIVA: Wait!
We're...Espers...
(Battle ends.)
IFRIT: Hmmm...
SHIVA: Well, Ramuh DID entrust them with his power.
AERIS: (as Shiva) Why, I'll never know...
IFRIT: Gestahl has grabbed our friends and is trying to drain them of their power. I, too, suffered my turn in one of the glass tubes...
CLOUD: (as Ifrit) But at least squishing me into the test tube made me really skinny.
SHIVA: They drained our powers, then threw us away to... We haven't long to live... We will follow Ramuh's lead, and give to you our power... Our friends are all gone... We haven't much time left...No choice but to entrust you with our essences...
CID: (as Shiva) Considering that we just barely met you, and all...
(Ifrit and Shiva become Magicite. Received the Esper "Ifrit".
Received the Esper "Shiva".)
TIFA: Ya know, Magicite may be handier than Materia, but it's kinda CREEPIER, in a way. With Materia, you don't go around carrying dead bodies with you and sometimes even KILLING people in order to get their powers. This is a little bit disturbing, if you ask me.
(In the laboratory. Six Espers are floating in glass tubes.)
ESPER: You want to help me... But... I haven't long to live. Just as Ifrit did before me, I'll give you my power...
(All Espers change to Magicite, and the glass shatters. All collect in the party's hands. Cid arrives.)
CID: (pops his eyes out) HEY!! I was never in this game!!
CID: What are you doing there? W...what's this? So...Esper magical power can only truly be transferred when one
of them passes away...
RENO: (as the FF6 "Cid") Thank you for giving me the excuse I've always wanted to go on a murderous rampage! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
CELES: Professor Cid.
YUFFIE: (snickering) PROFESSOR Cid? (She turns to our CID.) Hey, Professor, what's the homework for tonight?
OUR CID: I'm sittin' this one out. It'll be too confusing otherwise. Wake me when the scene's over. (He proceeds to pull his flight goggles over his eyes, fold his arms over his chest, and go to sleep, snoring loudly.)
CID: General CELES! And who might these dubious characters be? Your troops?
CELES: No... You see, ...
CID: Can it be true that you came here as a spy, seeking to case an uprising?!
AERIS: (as Celes) If I WAS a spy, do you think I'd TELL you that easily, you idiot?!
LOCKE: !? CELES...?
(Kefka arrives.)
KEFKA: So that's it! Magicite... Cid, you miserable blockhead!
Now... General CELES!! The game's over.
TIFA: (as Celes, whiny) But I can always hit reset!
Bring me those Magitek shards!
LOCKE: CELES! You...deceived me?!
CELES: Of course not! Have a little faith!
KEFKA: G'hee, hee, hee! She has tricked you all! CELES, that's so...YOU!
RENO: (as Kefka, to the good guys) Now, which of my evil laughs do you think is more effective in terms of striking pure terror into your hearts? 1. "Uwee, hee, hee!" or 2. "G'hee, hee, hee!" The Interdimensional Villians Association is auditing me tomorrow, you see...
CELES: LOCKE... Please believe me...
LOCKE: I.........
KEFKA: NOW!! Exterminate all of them!
(Soldiers fire on the crowd, but CELES dodges fire.)
CLOUD: Yeah, you know those genetically-engineered types, their reflexes are SO good, they can dodge oncoming laser blasts at point-blank range...
CELES: LOCKE... Let me protect you for once... Maybe now... Now you'll believe me...
KEFKA: CELES! W...what are you doing? Stop it!!!
TIFA: That tickles!
(CELES casts a spell, and she, Kefka and the soldiers vanish.)
LOCKE: CELES...
CID: Ooh, ooh... What happened? This is a disaster! Your fighting has caused the capsules to rupture! Their contents are spilling out! Quick! Over here!
(Cid rushes toward an elevator, and LOCKE and the others follow.)
RENO: (as Locke) Hey, wait a minute, there doesn't seem to be any elevator HEEEEEEEeeerrrrreeeee........
(At the bottom of the elevator, by the railway tunnel.)
CID: CELES... I've known her since she was a baby. I raised her as if she was my own daughter!
CLOUD: (as FF6 Cid) She might actually BE my daughter, I'm not sure...it's so hard to keep track...
But she was forced to become a Magitek Knight, and has done some awful things. If I could talk to her...I'd apologize for the way her life has turned out.
(Maniacal laugh in the background.)
CID: No! It's Kefka! GO!!
AERIS: Ah, I see Cid has made the connection between "Kefka" and "maniacal laugh" the same way we have...
(Cid pushes LOCKE and the others into a railway car, and shoves it off.)
AERIS: Whoah, Vector's come up in the world, if he can afford a castle now...
KEFKA: Crud! What a mess!! I don't think so...! You won't get away!
TIFA: And so, Kefka shares a moment of quality time with the voices in his head...
(Kefka operates a machine.)
CLOUD: Just "a machine". Notice it doesn't say what KIND...
RENO: (as Kefka, pounding on vending machine) Stupid machine! Give me my @#$#ing Dr. Pepper!
CID: (waking up) Ugh. Is the other me gone yet? What happened, what'd I miss?
AERIS: Celes was revealed to MAYBE be a traitor, she disappeared with Kefka and some soldiers, the other Cid helped the good guys escape by pushing them into a mining car, Kefka is working some kind of machine, the good guys are on the airship again, and Celes is still missing.
CID: Got it.
LOCKE: Let's not overstay our visit. We're outta here on the double!
SETZER: Right. Speaking of which... Maybe we should be leaving.
RENO: (eyes bugging out with disbelief) Isn't that what he just SAID?!
(If EDGAR is there,)
EDGAR: Something horrible's coming!!
(Battle with Cranes.)
TIFA: Yes, Frasier and Niles are TERRIBLE opponents, slinging hot cups of espresso and snooty barbs about clothing styles like you wouldn't believe!
AERIS: I'd worry more about ROZ showing up...
LOCKE: I'm worried about TERRA. Let's return to Zozo.
SETZER: TERRA? Who's that?
LOCKE: I'll explain on the way... ...about TERRA... ...Espers...
...the Returners...
YUFFIE: Life...
CLOUD: The universe...
CID: Everything...
(In Zozo Tower.)
We're all here...
LOCKE: TERRA...
(A piece of Magicite glows.)
LOCKE: Magicite!!
CLOUD: (as Locke) Oh my GOD!! I've never SEEN any Magicite before!!!!
(The Esper "Maduin" glows in TERRA's presence.)
TERRA: Father...? I remember it all... I was raised in the Esper's world.
(Begin flashback. In a strange world.)
YUFFIE: (singing) A whole new wooorrrllllddd....
TIFA: So, I take it we're supposed to assume she's awake again now, is that it?
The Esper World...
(Esper) Emergency! Something's coming through the gate!
(Maduin runs out and finds a human girl.)
RENO: (as Maduin) Mmmm, dinner!
MADUIN: Listen well, and think clearly! What will you do?
(Return Together)
(The Esper Elder's chambers.)
(Girl) She's pretty weak. Better let her rest for a moment.
CLOUD: (as girl) One. Okay, that's enough, let's make her run laps now...
(Man) You'd better do away with it. Humans and Espers are
incompatible...
CID: (as Man) And besides, she clashes with the wallpaper. Like, eeewwww...
ELDER: Did I hear there was a human here?
MADUIN: Probably... ...wandered in here by mistake.
(Girl wakes up.)
MADUIN: Did I awaken you?
AERIS: (as Girl) No, I usually sleep just fine when tons of weird people are talking right over my head...of COURSE you awakened me!
GIRL: You're...an Esper? What's that pendant for?
TIFA: (as Maduin) Well, when used in conjunction with the Telepod, it opens time gates....OOPS, wrong game...hee hee hee...
MADUIN: It's...yours now! It helps protect the Esper World.
CLOUD: And he is giving this incredibly valuable, unique, and strategic item to a total stranger WHY?!!
GIRL: Esper World... Boy, did I take the low road or what?
MADUIN: The Esper folk are pretty upset, you being a human and all...
GIRL: You the one who...saved me?
ESPER: I am Maduin. I tired living in the human world... That world is filled with desire, greed and loathing.
AERIS: (as Girl) And what's this world filled with?
RENO: (as Maduin, shrugging) Same stuff, but I understand the language here.
It's highly infection...
CID: And now, time for another episode of "Name that Translation!"
Are humans and Espers truly...so different?
MADONNA: So...I'm an example of the evil in this world, huh?
(ALL fall out of their seats laughing.)
CLOUD: MADONNA?!!!!!
YUFFIE: (singing) We are living in a material world, and I am a material girl...
MADUIN: No, I mean...
MADONNA: I'll return to my world tomorrow!
MADUIN: You'll need a guide!
(The next day.)
ELDER: Everything all right? WHAT? The human's gone?
RENO: (as Elder) And the human being gone is what MAKES everything be all right!
(Girl) The human girl made it all the way to the gate!
(Man) If this generation of humans knew about out abilities... And decided they wanted to utilize our powers... It would be a total disaster!
CID: (as Man) Yeah, what's the matter with Espers today? Buncha damn slackers, with their baggy clothes and their Lara Crofts and their Internets...
(Girl) Everyone here's feeling uneasy.
(Man) The link between worlds has surely weakened over the past 1000 years.
(Girl) Why has this happened now after all these years?
AERIS: Ya know, maybe it's BECAUSE it's been all those years. DUH.
YOUTH: What's wrong, Maduin?
YUFFIE: Side-note: All these people being referred to as "Youth", "Old Man", "Girl", etc....they're not human. They're all different weird fantasy creatures, like fairies and elves and trolls and gnomes and whatnot. The scriptwriter just didn't bother to point that out. And now, back to our program.
(At the gate. Madonna is there.)
TIFA: (singing) You must be my lucky star...
MADUIN: If you don't want to return to your world, you may stay here.
MADONNA: But humans and Espers can never coexist...!
MADUIN: How do we know for sure unless we observe for ourselves?
How do we know...
unless we...
observe for ourselves...?
YUFFIE: By the way, Maduin is dancing around Madonna in circles all during this part and giving her Significant Looks.
CLOUD: Uh, oh. Is this the old-fashioned, censored way of saying that two characters are about to..."mate"?
YUFFIE: Yep.
CLOUD: Damn. I had to dress up in drag, get naked in a hot tub, actually go into a very UGLY man's bedroom and threaten to injure very specific body parts of his! Sometimes, freedom ain't all it's cracked up to be.
YUFFIE: Hey, tell me about it, I got kidnaped by the thug and tied up-side down on a giant statue!
MADUIN: We've given her a name...
RENO: But Madonna already HAD a name!
TIFA: He means the baby.
RENO: ALREADY?! Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish, that was fast!
MADONNA: What?
MADUIN: It's TERRA. Not bad, huh?
AERIS: WAIT a minute, it says that "WE'VE given her a name", and yet the mother seems to be confused by the whole idea of the existence of names in the first place. So what Maduin ACTUALLY meant was, "I'VE given her a name and you can just sod off if you don't like it. Honey."
(Two years later.)
(Imperial soldiers have broken in, and are taking away Espers.)
TIFA: Is it just me, or is anyone else here somewhat reminded of that part at the beginning of "Willow", where the soldiers of the Evil Queen BavMorda come into the town, raping and pillaging, so they can find the one special baby with the special mark on her forehead?
AERIS: It's just you.
(Esper) Humans!!!!! The nexus between our worlds has opened again!! The wind...so odd...just like two years ago... But everything's different now... Troops have come seeking our magical power. Blast it! They've made it as far as the Elder's house!
CLOUD: (as Random Esper) Maybe we should stop sitting here TALKING about the plotline and actually DO something about it, huh?!
(Gestahl arrives.)
ALL: HI, GESTAHL!
GESTAHL: Aha! We've finally found it! Those ancient writings told us of this world, and described the awesome magical properties of these beasts!
AERIS: BEASTS?! Hey, they may have pointy ears, wings, funny skin colours or be unusually small, but they are quite obviously people!
GESTAHL: Grab them! Riches to any man who captures an Esper! GO!
(In the Elder's chambers.)
MADONNA: TERRA's alright.
YUFFIE: (singing) True blue, baby, I love you...
(Man) Soon the humans will arrive!
CLOUD: Uh, dude, they already did.
CID: I think he means, specifically in their house, arrive.
CLOUD: Oh.
ELDER: We've no choice... We must do what we've been avoiding...
RENO: (as Elder) We'll have to give up our satellite dish.
OTHERS: (as Random Espers) No, sir, please, anything but that!!
MADUIN: You mean...the magic barrier?
AERIS: Hey, Xanth again. It's the Shieldstone! Now, when your rock is white, you can pass through, but when it turns red, you get fried...um...or is it the other way around...?
ELDER: Here's the plan. We'll cause a tempest that'll sweep all the nasty creatures out of our realm. Then we'll seal the gate... I am the last of our kind able to cast this magical seal.
RENO: (as Elder) I made a special point of killing off all the others so that I would never be expendable....oops, you didn't hear that....
MADUIN: But in your state, you might just...
YUFFIE: Get a charley horse...
ELDER: Pass away...but at least we will finally be safe.
TIFA: Yeah, him passing away would DEFINITELY make the Esper world a safer place...
MADUIN: Madonna......
CLOUD: (as Madvin) I don't think it's a good idea to wear that cone-bra while you're NURSING, dear...
MADONNA: I, for one will not miss the other side...
CID: (as Madonna) I will, of course, miss Kefka's All-Nite Leather Emporium and Sabin's Tantric Work-Out Spa...
YUFFIE: You are one SICK dude, dude.
ELDER: Let's do it. We have no other choice.
(Man) This is all because of that human girl!
MADUIN: Nonsense!
(Man) I'm sure she helped the others find us!
MADUIN: Get a grip on yourself!
RENO: (singing) Stranger from another planet, welcome to our hole! Just strap on your gui-tar, and we'll play some rock and roll! But the money's no good....just get a grip on yourself...
AERIS: THAT was obscure.
RENO: (ala Dr. Laurence Erhardt) THAAANK yeeeewww!
(Man) No! She's one of them! Soon she'll be wearing our hide!
(Madonna runs out.)
TIFA: I think that "wearing our hide" line deserves a good, solid, "EEEEEEEEWWWWWW!!"
CLOUD: (as Madonna) That's a filthy lie! It's summer-time, and you KNOW I'd never wear furs out of season!
MADUIN: Urghhh!
(Man) Madonna took TERRA to the gate!
(Near the gate. Elder is there, casting the spell.)
CID: Not just any old spell, but "the" spell. You know. That one.
ELDER: Where are you going?! D'goh!
CLOUD: (as Homer Simpson) "D'GOH!"
MADUIN: Madonna's getting drawn into the next world...!
AERIS: Erm...Maduin...I think "the next world" means she's DYING, not that she's going back to the human realm...
ELDER: Impossible! It's too late! I've already begun casting the barrier. There's no turning back!
MADUIN: That fool...
CLOUD: (high falsetto voice) You're a fool. You was a fool when I married ya and you're a bigger fool now!
RENO: (deeper voice, southern/western accent) Yes, I WAS a fool when I married you...
(At the gate. Gestahl, some soldiers, Madonna and TERRA are there.)
(Soldier) Look what popped out!
RENO: Eeeewww!!
(AERIS smacks him.)
(A wind blows the soldiers and Gestahl through the gate.)
GESTAHL: Shriek!!! Just when we were in reach of a veritable
bonanza...!
TIFA: Um, Gestahl, dearie, you're supposed to just SHRIEK, not SAY the word, "Shriek!"
MADONNA: Maduin... I'm not their friend...
CID: This is not my beautiful house...this is not my beautiful wife...
MADUIN: I understand that!
MADONNA: Thank you...
MADUIN: Can you make it back here?
MADONNA: Sure...
(Madonna loses hold of TERRA, who is sucked through the gate.)
AERIS: Ya know, this is just NOT a good day...(shakes her head)
TERRA!!
(Madonna is sucked through the gate as well)
MADUIN: MADONNA!!
(Maduin is sucked through the gate.
RENO: Ya know, that gate really sucks.
CLOUD: (as Riker) They never had a chance...they were all sucked out into space.
CID: (as Data) Correction, sir. That's BLOWN out.
The three lie in the forest outside the gate. Gestahl approaches Madonna.)
GESTAHL: A...human girl? Wh... Who is she?
TIFA: Uh, no, if she's old enough to have kids, I assume she's a woman, not a girl...
MADONNA: Please...take care...of my baby...
YUFFIE: (singing) Take good care of my...ba-hay-ay-bee...
GESTAHL: YOUR girl!? Eh!? Hmmm... Then she's half human and half... How absolutely fascinating! Mwa, ha, ha... She will help us realize our dream faster than we ever imagined!
RENO: I just realised that Gestahl and Kefka talk very much the same way. "How absolutely delightful! Uwee, hee, hee!"
MADONNA: N...noooo!!!
CLOUD: Oh, come, ON, Chickie-poo, if you were actually stupid enough to give your toddler to the EVIL EMPEROR, of all people, you should EXPECT things like this!!
GESTAHL: Quiet, my dear!!
(Gestahl strikes Madonna.)
AERIS: BOOO!!!
TSENG, OVER INTERCOMM: I'm sorry, Aeris. The script MADE me slap you into the helicopter!
AERIS: (to intercomm) Yeah, right.
YUFFIE: Must be one of those cheap really SLOW garage-door openers...
(Flashback ends.)
TERRA: That was my father...? I'm the product of an Esper and a
human... That's where I got my powers... Now I understand... I
finally feel I can begin to control this power of mine...
TIFA: (as Terra) Hmmn, I wonder what THIS finger does? (ZAP!) Ooh, sorry. Um....you didn't NEED that wall, did you? Or that butler...?
EDGAR: So Gestahl must've known the secret of the Espers' power back then.
LOCKE: And those Espers at the facility were grabbed during that
expedition! That means CELES's power came... ...at the expense of an Esper...
CLOUD: Hell-LO, the game told us that EARLIER...
SABIN: They can't get away with this! We have to strike back!
CID: (as Sabin) Hey..."Striking Back Against the Empire"! That would make a good movie title! Wait, that's not it...
TERRA: What's happening in Narshe?
LOCKE: Hmm... Maybe we should head back that way.
TIFA: Not because there's anything happening there, mind you. Just because we need a good scene change.
SETZER: The airship's ready!
RENO: (as Setzer) And I would know this, since I've been sitting here listening to your story for the last three hours!
